curious-in-motion asked: So I fully agree with you that traditional gender roles are rigid and that it's silly to think that they are the "right" way to have a relationship between any pair. However I am a heterosexual female and actually enjoy taking on the female role in my relationships. I like being the submissive, vulnerable female and my man to take on the more dominant role. Though my preference is probably due to culture and upbringing, I like what I like. What's your take on this?
There isn’t a way to tell how much the culture and normalized roles have affected your attitude and prefaces in the bedroom, but yes, they probably have. That’s not unique to you, that’s everybody living in a culture. I think it’s important to think about these things and explore them, but I’m not saying it’s wrong/bad that what gets you off is being submissive.
However, I do have a problem with the interchanging of submissive and female, male and dominant. I don’t like that one bit. That erases a lot of people (thinking same sex relationships in particular, non-binary/genderqueer, etc.) But also, to equate women across the board with submissive, and men as dominant reinforces a lot of harmful stereotypes and inequalities.